A Witch’s Lair & A Fairy Tale Cottage in Virginia’s Wine Country

By Kara Mae Adamo.

A couple of weeks ago, my boyfriend and I went away for the weekend.

We have opposite schedules and he’d been away for three weeks, so we planned a little trip for when he returned.

The conversation went like this:

Chris: What do you want to do for our trip?

Kara: I meet new people for a living every day. I want to have the option to not have to speak to anyone other than you if I don’t want to.

Chris: Baby, I’ve got you.

AND THEN that dude books a stone cottage in the middle of an orchard, overlooking a vineyard.

Be still, my beating heart. Five stars, 1000 points to Gryffindor.

So, after I picked him up from the airport, we packed our things and took off.

We didn’t get the cottage for the two nights we wanted to spend away, so we booked a bed and breakfast for our first stop. At first glance, it was pretty, but the pictures implied a bottle of wine would be provided (it wasn’t) and the title “Bed & Breakfast” implied, in my southern head, a full spread of food and a warm host greeting you in the morning.

Ours was…none of those things. It’s run by this little old German lady named Greta and an old guy who could either be her husband, her brother, a groundskeeper, or her servant who knows way too much about what really goes on there and whose silence is brought on by a fear-filled loyalty to the matron of the house.

Like, Greta could be a witch. We really don’t know.

We survived, though. In the morning, she offered an omelet that Chris could top easily on any given Saturday, and then we packed our things and left. She never said goodbye. She just sort of…disappeared.

It was a creepy place.

After we left, we went white water rafting at a place in Harper’s Ferry, Virginia. It was leisurely and chill, as the river was lower and the rapids were relaxing 2’s most of the way. From there, we stopped to grab a quick bite before making our way to the cottage.

 

The trip had been nice at that point because Chris is wonderful company. His sense of humor and creative storytelling can carry you through just about any experience, and we missed one another quite a bit, so having the ability to just chill in a room somewhere and play cards together was honestly so lovely that neither of us really cared much that Greta’s Possible House of Horrors–sorry, “Bed and Breakfast”–was so disappointing.

I have to be honest, though, there was a part of me that was kind of bummed out on the way to the cottage. It wasn’t a shadow over our moods or anything, but both of us had been so excited over what we’d seen in the Air-b-n-b photos, we were each privately worried that it would be a let down.

By the time we reached the orchard, it was already dark out. That far into the hills in Virginia, you really can’t see much in the way of city lights or even street lamps. It’s quiet and the drive there is a little rough to navigate. The Waze App on my Jetta faltered a couple of times and we did get turned around a bit.

Chris ended up calling the lady that owns the cottage.

Her name was ___, and her genuine cheerfulness was like a sudden burst of energetic sunlight in the middle of the night…and I mean that in the best way possible. She’s one of those people whose innate happiness and contentment shows in her face. I want to be this woman’s friend. She just seems–fun.

She told him she would meet us where we were so we could follow her to the house, and thank god she did. The dark masses looming in front of us and pillowing up against the night sky were large Cherry trees, and without her suv guiding us, we would have never found the gravel path that cuts through those trees and leads around a bend to what is, I must say, the most charming, perfect little cottage you could ever imagine.

I am convinced that this place is the house where the fairy aunts fought over what color to make Sleeping Beauty’s dress.

Immediately cheery, the cottage manages what should be an impossibly balanced approach between quaint and upscale-chic. It’s a studio that feels like a castle, and the cool-to-the-touch stone walls run up to the top of the high ceilings both inside and outside of the structure, pressing snugly against the warm tones of exposed pine beams and just the right amount of metal in the updated fixtures and handles. The bedding and couches are pure white, brightening the room and inviting you to relax with a cup of coffee, some local granola, or an apple from the orchard–all of which were provided alongside grassfed milk and a complimentary pack of apple cider donuts that killed our diets and left us with zero regrets.

Everything was so still and so dark that, when we stepped out onto the back porch to take in the night sky, the whole thing was speckled with stars, like someone poured glitter across the horizon. So there we stood, surrounded by nature, bare feet in the freshly cut grass, huddled together while Chris used an app on his phone to pin point each constellation. 

The next morning, I woke up feeling more refreshed than I have in ages. Sunlight streamed in through long beige curtains that flowed out, covering the floor-to-ceiling French doors that led out to the porch. There, I sat in a wicker chair and took in the fresh air as I gazed out at Apple, Peach, and Cherry trees that covered the property. Behind us, I found, was the rest of Bluemont Vineyard, where they offer apple-picking, adult corn maze races, pumpkin carving, and a lovely selection of wines made on-property from grapes picked right off the vine. 

I’ll discuss the actual winery in a separate post, but to give you an idea of how perfect this place was: you could actually just walk up the hill and arrive at the tasting room. The family at Bluemont owns the cottage. It’s available on Air-bnb, and I have to say, it may very well be my favorite spot I’ve found to date. We would buy it if we could and we will absolutely be coming back. 

Until next time,

Cheers.

Kara Adamo is a bartender, booze nerd, and booze writer. She is the author of Fancy Grape Juice: De-Snootifying the World’s Snootiest Beverage; Artimals: Coloring the Whimsical Wild; and Brews & Hues: A Coloring Book About Beer. Adamo currently lives in Washington DC.