Riding a Bullet Train

By Kara Mae Adamo.

I’m sitting here, leaning back in plush seats with more foot room than my tiny munchkin legs could possibly use, traveling at 199 mph as this rocket-ship-on-earth slices through the greater part of southern Japan.

To my left is a window, where I’ll see Mt. Fuji jutting out from the earth against a hazy blue sky about 45 minutes before we hit our last stop on the way to Tokyo.

All told, this ride will take about 2 hours and 45 minutes…shaving a solid 3 hours from what would otherwise be an all-day trek.

Of all of the things Japan does better, this is at the top.

We are riding in the “Green Car,” which is a step above what is already a fairly luxurious experience in general. The seats have shock absorption, which means you can sleep on this thing and virtually never get jolted awake. It’s smoother than riding in a car down a perfectly paved highway, despite the fact that you’re on tracks going over bridges and through mountains.

The seat in front of me has a hook for my backpack, keeping it off the floor and out of my way, but also accessible in case I want to reach for my headphones, and there is a refreshment cart that comes around every so-often offering Japanese snacks like the one I’m eating now: a canister of shrimp-flavored potato chips by “Chip Star.” Behind me, I have a space for my oversized suitcase and overnight bag.

I’m using free internet that’s lightning-fast and my iPhone has 4 bars consistently, even as we cut through solid mountains that turn the bright, oversized windows black for maybe a minute or two before shooting out the other side. Who needs to move mountains when this train can basically teleport you?

The scene outside whirs by me in a blur of farmlands, mountains, houses, and cityscapes. If I blink, I’m already in a new place and it’s hard not to stop what I’m doing and just stare.

Japan is fascinating.

The marriage between old and new: tradition and progress…ancient reverence and exhilarating, breathtaking efficiency…of cobblestone roads leading to skyscrapers boasting large screens with pristine clarity…of weeping willows grazing riverbeds while people in traditional garb use smartphones and pay for Gachapon with beautifully unique coins…creates an oddly immersive experience that makes you more curious than you were before you got here.

But back to the earth-based rocket ship.

Some quick research tells me that the first Shinkansen (which is what they call their Bullet Train) was built in 1964, and it ran from Tokyo to Osaka. That means it and my mother were born the same year, and we STILL don’t have one in the States.

The Shinkansen network has, of course, grown. It now spans from Kyūshū to Hokkaidō, offering Japanese residents the opportunity to jet around their country in record time without ever leaving the ground. For those of us who love to travel but HATE flying *raises hand,* that’s a complete game-changer.

Right now the Shinkansen maxes out at 199 mph, making it about 140 mph faster than a traditional passenger train, which only goes to about 59 mph.

Even with those incredible speeds, the Japanese are currently building a new one that’s going to go twice as fast…which means this trip could actually go down to an hour and a half.

So, while the United States dicks around and refuses to up their game to reach what Japan has provided for nearly 60 years, they’re working on a V2.

The guy next to me has woken up. In perfect English, he tells me that he takes this train all the time. I know that, if I lived here, I certainly would.

The idea that, in Florida, they still haven’t successfully constructed a train that can run between Tampa, Orlando, and Miami only becomes more frustrating when compared directly to what the Japanese have accomplished in the last 50 years. Public transportation on the whole has been, as one of my travel companions, Laura, put it, “a pleasure!”

To my left and to my right, I can see that the shock-absorption is working perfectly. The guy next to me is taking a quick nap while he rests his sneakered feet on the folded footrest provided (this is for when you’re wearing your shoes), and to my right Jeremy is snoozing away in his socks with his footrest unfolded, revealing a place meant for when you’ve taken your shoes off.

Everything is spotless, as it is throughout Japan, and they’ve truly thought of every small detail, including USB and regular electrical outlets, two tray tables of varying sizes (one attached to the seat in front of you and one hidden inside your arm rest), a personal light, and heated seats.

In the time it took me to write this, I already reached what I consider to be the highlight of the trip: a seconds-long view of the infamous Mt Fuji, or “Fuji-san,” as the locals call it. In a couple of years, I’m hoping revisit this crazy place and hike a decent portion of it–and then to go find a beach covered in volcanic ash.

But for now, I’ll wave to it from a distance as I slice through the air and munch on shrimp flavored potato chips, eager to see what else this amazing adventure will bring.

Kara Adamo is a globe-trotting ex-bartender, booze nerd, and booze writer. She is the author of Fancy Grape Juice: De-Snootifying the World’s Snootiest Beverage; Artimals: Coloring the Whimsical Wild; and Brews & Hues: A Coloring Book About Beer. Adamo is currently a UX writer and UX designer. She is currently working on the 2nd edition of Fancy Grape Juice.